same-sex parents
Our Family: Desiree and Vanessa
March 30, 2011 | ELIXHER 2
Desiree, Vanessa, Shana and Grace clasp hands.
Our Family is a series that celebrates two-mommy families and delves into some of the challenges they face. The goal of the series is to depict same-sex parent families in a way that is authentic and dispels myths associated with same-sex childrearing. Desiree, a 33-year-old minister, gives us a glimpse of her family—her partner Vanessa, 34, and their daughters Shana and Grace, ages 11 and 6.*
ELIXHER: How do you define “family”?
DESIREE: A unit of people that love each other through thick and thin. A safe place.
ELIXHER: Tell us a bit about your family.
DESIREE: We are a family of four: my partner, our two girls and me. The 11-year-old is biologically my partner’s daughter from a previous marriage. The 6-year-old is mine biologically, also from a previous marriage. My partner Vanessa is beautiful, laid back, easy-going. She’s in the military. Me? Well, I’m the type A to the max type of person. I love to organize and get things done. I’ve been a minister for fifteen years and a Christian schoolteacher for ten. Our daughter Grace is very outgoing, free-spirited and sensitive. She loves to dance, sing, and be the center of attention. Shana loves to read and is very caring. She keeps her feelings to herself and can be moody at times. We live in Virginia.
ELIXHER: How long have you and your partner been together? And how did you know it was the “right” time to blend families?
DESIREE: We’ve been together for five years. Things didn’t quite start with the best timing for us at all. I was in the process of separating from my ex-husband and fell in love with Vanessa. She was and is my best friend. She had already been separated and then unfortunately became a widow before finalizing a divorce. If we were to do it again, we would definitely change the timing of everything but it is what it is and life goes on. Our love truly has been the glue and has helped us overcome obstacles that sometimes seem from hell. Read More
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